What to Write

We all have those moments where we are at a complete loss of what to write. Oh sure there are probably 50 different ideas going on in your head but when it comes to writing on them you find yourself at a loss of words. I have gone to write now two days in a row but have no idea what I want to write about. Should I write about the book I just read, should I write another piece on my struggles on growing up, or should I branch out and write something completely different. Sometimes the hardest part of writing is picking a topic and following through on the writing. It's all about the follow through, which makes me think of a song by Gavin Degraw called " Follow Through". In that song he says: " You'll have to follow through. on every word you say". Now it may seem like I'm rambling but trust me I'm going somewhere with this song. Read those lyrics again. Now think about the writing process. Every word carries weight, carries meaning, an author has to follow through with what they say on paper to make the words mean something, which can be the most daunting task. The hardest part is transferring the ideas to paper or in this case the ideas to a computer screen. 

Many of my friends often laugh over how heavy my purse is but it's because I usually have two books and two notebooks on me at all times. I may not even touch any of them in a day but it's a comfort to know that any time inspiration strikes I can jot down a few notes about an idea I may have. The struggle comes when trying to flush out that idea. many times I have sat down in front of screen to write sat there for an hour or so to end up with nothing. Maybe I'm over thinking the process. Maybe I'm just not that strong of a writer. Maybe I'm just lazy that day. Maybe it's the ADHD side of me. Or maybe it's the thought that the words I put out there carry weight, which means I'm not just going to write about anything and post it. Sometimes the hardest part of the writing is the follow through but it can also be the best part. 

When I sat down to write tonight I had no idea I was going to end up writing a whole post on writing but as my thoughts began to wander, the words began to flow and I started to finally follow through on a post. Sometimes the easiest way to jump start the process is not to plan what to write but to let the piece write itself. This may not be my best piece of writing but I've achieved several things with this post. I finally followed through on a blog post, I wrote something down, I feel inspired to keep writing, and I'm following through on my goal of posting more frequently. In not knowing what to write I have voiced out loud my writing process, taking you through my mind( I know a very scary place) on what goes through my mind when I try to write, If you take away anything from this post take away that writing is a constant process. You may not like everything you write. You may walk away with nothing after sitting down for hours trying to write something. But if you just sit and let the words flow with no clear purpose just follow through on the actual act of pen to paper or fingers to keys, you may find yourself with a piece you never thought you could write or at the very least feel like you accomplished something with your time. Until next time, I'll leave you with this image of how I feel about the writing process.

Cliche New Year New Changes Post But Not Really

Yes you read that title correctly. Yes I'm about to write a post about changes I plan to make in the new year but before you leave because you are sick of reading those types of posts let me just quickly tell you the goal of the post. It is not to list to all the changes I  wish to make but probably won't. I won't be talking about my goal weight for the year or how I plan to eat healthier or do one of those challenges or be a happier person. No I will not subject you to having to read another one of those posts. So if you've hung in with me so far and trust I will not bust out any New Year's cliches in this post keep reading...

So you've made it to the second paragraph and may be wondering what this post is all about if it is actually about anything ( it is I assure you), My intentions with this post are to announce changes to this blog and with my writing. Now one obvious change you may be shouting at me is are you going to actually post more or just post for a couple weeks and then disappear? I have every intention of posting more as I now have a clearer idea of what I want from this blog. Now I am making no promises of how often I will post since that would fall under New Year's cliches of making promises you can't keep but look at this way posting some is progress over the last couple months in which there was no posting.What you don't know is I've gone to write posts but have never finished them because I just didn't feel like they belonged on this blog. If you have read any of my posts in the past you may have read some of my poetry intermingled with my thoughts. I love writing poetry but I have realized for me to truly write what I am feeling it needs to be separate from where I talk about my real life and personal thoughts. So I have created a new blog for my writing over at word press, which will be strictly for my creative writing. The separation allows me a clearer thought process, which makes me feel more comfortable posting poems as an author and not as a blogger.

Why do I feel the need for a whole different blog for poetry? As a poet I write poems based where my mind takes me. I'm the author but that doesn't always mean what I'm  writing about I personally feel or have experienced, they are just thoughts in my head. I feel if I keep writing poem's here the speaker of the poem will be associated automatically with my  personal voice and not the voice of the person in the poem. If you think back to high school English, think about when your teacher discussed the difference between when the author is speaking and when a fictional character is speaking that's what my concern is over. I don't want the persona of my poem to be mixed with my real life thoughts. I want a place where I feel free to release my creative thoughts without it being assumed I'm talking about my self.  Also I plan on writing more poetry this year to reach the goal of being published. I want a place where I can see only my creative work in one place and post the good along with the not so good pieces. Think of my new poetry blog as my creative writing journal in the open minus the ones I hope might be strong enough to be published elsewhere.

Now what's happening to this blog you may be asking? I'm keeping it with every intention of writing more and sharing more with you all. I have some great post ideas floating around in my head that I just need to get written down, This blog is still about my search for that happy place, which I hope you're still interested in. Even if you're not I'll continue posting anyways because I like to write for me if people actually read what I write it's a rewarding bonus.

for being so patient I will share the link to my new blog. This will be the only time I post this here so if you want to follow my other blog that's great if not that's fine too. so here it is:
Inviting the Soul to Wander 

If you decide to wander over to the new blog I hope you enjoy but remember that what I write is as an author not as a personal blog post, which means the persona of the poem could talk about anything that inspires me to write.

Until the next post...I freely give you permission to heckle me if the next post does not come in a timely fashion.

New Year

New Year's. It's the celebration of out with the old and in with the new. It's a holiday celebrated all over the world as we all say goodbye to one year, 365 days, and hello to a new year filled with possibilities. To me New Year's has always had magic surrounding it, a wonderment in the way we say goodbye and welcome the new all in one night. I've always believed how I celebrate New Year's sets the tone for the rest of the year. Superstitious? perhaps but that's the power of thinking. I believe it sets the tone and so it does, Maybe that's putting to much pressure on one day to dictate how a whole year goes, but think about it from this perspective. the title is New Year's not another year or a different year but NEW. New meaning anything is possible, clean slate, fresh start, washing away the old, embracing the future, and last but not least it;s hope, With a new year brings the hope that this year will be the year hence New Year's resolutions, which gives us the chance to take charge and control of our future and year. It's the first day in 365 days in which anything can happen. There's a rush to not knowing what the year could bring and that you could start out the year in a completely different way than the way you end it, It's scary and exciting in the same breath, but you can feel the energy of everyone around you as they reminisce and dream of the future in the same night. I think that's what makes New Year's so magical is the dichotomy of the whole evening. Old and new , goodbye and hello, past and future, memories and dreams. all of those opposites come together in one night so that we can say goodbye to one year and welcome a new year.

As I count down the new year, 5...4...3...2..1...,, it feels as if I step through a doorway and I can feel myself letting go of everything that occurred in that old year all the pain, all the regrets, I get to choose what I hold on to and what I take through that door, When that clock reaches 0, I shout Happy New Year! all that I was holding on to trying to say goodbye to just flies away as I step across to a whole new year where nothing has happened yet. I can feel the hope and the dreams coursing through me, feeling like a snake that has shed her skin. I'm fresh, free of last year's baggage, ready to make the year what I want the year to be.

I'm not going to put any New Year's resolutions, that I won't follow through on, here or make a list or plans for the new year because that's not what this is about. A new year is about the unkown, about welcoming it as it is and not as you think it should be. It's about embracing the fear and stepping into the year with nothing but hope. So as I step into this new year I will cling to this feeling as long as possible until it evetually fades and the uncertainty, fear, and doubt return. But I will hold on knowing that come the end of the year I can once again welcome that feeling back with hope that maybe just maybe one year I can hold on to that New year feeling all the way through.